What shapes us? Round One

Confession: I am a dreamer and a doer, no matter how long it takes, but I love the process of dreaming. I also like the process of discovery and rediscovery, but I want to know what defines us? What shapes us in the process of these intervals.

So, what exactly shapes us? What is it that motivates us and clicks on the “light” in our mind to do something different? What transforms us into a determinate being? Where is the point of change and can we pin point the moment?

I ask these questions because I want to know what shapes us. If our memories are not to be used to overcompensate for our lack of not trying or moving toward accomplishing our dreams then explain the process of becoming more than what we currently are, given that our memories are suppose to be used as a mechanism for reform. How come there are others that just get it and then there are the ones that have no clue; their point of reasoning has long been contaminated or perhaps just hit an underdevelopment standstill.

I live for the moments to find a different part of me, learn a new aspect of my life, and to fall in love, fall in love with absolutely everything. I’ve been accused of being a lot of things, and I have allowed those accusations to slide off my skin and gracefully fall to the floor as gracefully as they tried to break the fortress of my soul, of course in hopes of capturing my spirit; the thump is pretty loud. Nonetheless, there has been one accusation that I have openly embraced, which was being nonrealistic due to my optimistic persona. That sat well with me, and was nonchalantly close to accurate. Perhaps being the mindful, optimistic, overly excitable person that I am has allowed me to take this particular trajectory towards shaping me. Maybe there is a down fall to every aspect of life or choice that we make, but maybe the challenge resides in choosing the right choice, the best one that reflects a better you and me; regardless of the backlash.

You know I have come to really think and understand that, there are people who do not know love. I mean, there are so many shapes, forms, types, and variations of love. It is powerful, and its power is often underestimated. Love, is pure, kind, patient, accepting, sweet, tender, intense, seductive, imaginative, growing, explorative, exciting, and the list can continue to ramble on into infinite verbs and adjectives because it nicely suits each category. I challenge you to find love, a different kind that you have yet to recognize and comment about it when it happens.

I once stated that I felt that people have long ago stopped dreaming. I don’t know the exact result of that, but I think it’s the liaison for the lack of love, the lack of passion for life, and the constant advertising of stipulations and humanistic boundaries that is only created by man. About a week ago, I laid outside and memorized the sky for hours I’m sure. I realized that this life is bigger than our imaginations can comprehend. When I mean bigger, I do not just mean in the literal sense of size, but I speak of an expansion of depth in a non-lucid sense that is full of glory once deciphered. I want to know love just as much as I want to dream, and I want to know how that shapes me, all of us; I know it is at the core of our makeup.

This is just the beginning of this discussion … there will be plenty more, so let’s just say this is round one.

Working out, accountability, and polygamy?????

This week is going to be different. I know I normally post my workout plan and the ending result, but that was seemingly boring to me ... so I am going to change it up. I am going to post daily and it is going to have my workout regime for the day.

Confession: I don't feel like working out, I don't feel like writing, and I don't feel like doing much of anything except reading.

Now that I have identifed that, I can tell you better that it is when you feel like not doing something the most is when you should do it. I am going to go to step, which will be a lot of fun. After step class I am going to attempt to run 2 miles and if I can manage out a third I will, if anything I will walk it. My attempt today is to work out for an hour and a half, but I need to put more running into it. Running is the only way I am going to be able to acheive the look I want and the health that I want. When you are already at a target weight and you are roaming around within the numbers that are acceptable to your body weight and height, it can be harder to achieve. However, I am making a change in my life for the better, so that I can feel confident in every aspect.

So, anyway ... I amg oing to head out here and leave you with some inspiration, my hopes and dreams for today, and a questions that does not pertain to working out, just for a conversational discussion aspect.

Every time I get on this blog and I am either trying to write about my emotions, figure things out through some awakening concept I have stumbled upon, or I am trying to keep myself accountable for working out, I look forward to you. I look forward to the person that is going to give me advice back, someone that is going to tell me that they know how I feel, or that they just enjoyed reading another perspective. I love words, I love writing, I love emotions, and I love exploring it all together under one roof. Thank you for being my accountability partner, I'm not sure if you knew you were mine or not. My dream today is to accomplish something that I have never done which is workout through step class and run three miles afterwards. I'll let you know tomorrow how it goes.

As far as my question, it is the same question I posted on my facebook: what are your thoughts on polygamy?

I've been watching sister wives and of course I am a huge fan of Big Love (great show, hated the ending) but it is interesting, intriguing, and a foreign concept to me. I just want to know what you think.

Bradley Cooper dating Sandra Bullock???

So, I mistakenly read a gossip article about Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper breaking up, at least I think it was a mistake how I perceived it. I thought they were saying that Bradley Cooper and Sandra Bullock were now dating since his break up with Renee, but that was not the case, I think. You can see that this is totally all speculation and confusing to me, so I am can totally understand how it will be confusing to you. This is a perfect example as to how rumors get started.

So, even though I may be wrong on the interpretation part, I got to thinking that Bradley Cooper and Sandra Bullock would be a great match together. This blog isn't going to go into long list of details as to why I believe their characteristics are perfect for each other and all that jazz, I just think by looking at them, they would be perfect. I am pretty good at looking and guessing who would be right for each other, I do have a pretty good history list myself, and I am currently married (first marriage and will be my only, we got what it takes :o) Anway, back to the subject at hand. Sandra and Bradley should try that on for size. Now, I do wonder if they are in different places at the moment, her with an adopted baby and well him reaching the top of his career now and all, perhaps it won't happen because Renee and Sandra are friends, I don't know. Anyways, I think they should at least date once or twice, try it on for size.

Any thoughts?

Working it out ... kind of!

Okay, so this is going to be short and sweet, well kind of sour to be honest. I have been so incredibly busy this week that I was only able to accomplish three workouts this week out of the intended five. I was able to accomplish the Monday and Wednesday workouts. Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were overwhelmingly busy days. Today is not over (Sunday that is) and Mike and I are planning on doing a run of a minimum of two miles perhaps even four miles (twice around our track) with the our dog Sir William Wallace (yes, awesome name, and I totally came up with it. true story). Anyway, the workout will be the same as last week, because I was unable to meet all of them. I will extend my workout for six days next week, making sure that I put in another step and yoga class. I may change it up a bit, I haven't exactly decided. I may put out a different workout plan, it depends on what I feel like tomorrow, but I am definitely keep tomorrow (Monday's workout) the same. I love the yoga and step aerobics, I do want to incorporate more running so that is my goal.


You know, I went to the flea mall this weekend when Mike and I were preparing for our first eighties party together (I'll try to post pictures because our customes totally kicked butt), I mean I was literally made to live in the eighties when you looked at my outfit. Anyway, I came to thinking about my workout clothes and how it's probably time for me to go shopping. The flea mall had the coolest deals on running shorts. Now, I don't go to the gym to be cute, I go there to get cute, so I am in no big hurry. However, I want to get a few new outfits that are accommodating to the heat! Anyway, I'll let you know on the deals as far as it goes. I am so far 20 days in, and we still have until the 15th of April to see a weigh in!

Next week, I am going to focus on eating right and well. I have been doing a lot better, but I really want to step it up. I have noticed, due to the amount of water I drink, my skin is completely clearing up. I mean, I have always had pretty good skin, but sometimes my ecezma flairs up or I break out from the amount of sugar (from the sweets).

Apologies for potential grammatical errors, I am in a rush and I have yet to do any grammatical corrections. If you read this before I do so, I apologize and I will get to it when I have more time. Have a good day, and get prepared to get your work out on!!

Quitters Never Prosper

Confession: At times, I have allowed myself to fall under the hypnosis of quitting, merely because there was the suggestion that I could always come back to it, or perhaps it wasn’t for me. I absolutely despised and hated to my core not succeeding, and it is true, I always came back to whatever I may have left in the dust one way or another. Maybe it was two years later, maybe it was two days later, but I have always revisited something that I did not finish. I can be a bit stubborn when it comes to things like that.

First: Let me identify the purpose of this post. This post is about not quitting, it is about recognizing our flaws and what keeps us from our success. True, there are multiple blogs that speak on inspiration I’m sure; unfortunately, I have yet to really scour the internet reading other people’s thoughts and that is only because I am always reading people’s thoughts in a book. I’m not a gossip blogger, the most you will find is me venting about how people are so nasty or disputing some random statement that was presented by someone in the media, but you will never find me engaged in the latest debate on the color of Jake Gyllenhaal’s underwear, or who Charlie Hannum is dating (okay maybe, but most likely not lol). Nonetheless, you will never see me blog about gossip because that does not feel welcoming to my spirit, it’s just not a homely thing for me. However, you may see me broach a subject that perhaps has already been tackled. I feel that sometimes reiterating something is absolutely important. Often, we do not hear what we need to hear at the right time or the right amount of times. Repetition is often overlooked as a key component to success.

This morning, I woke up with book(s) in hand and dogs in tow, coupled with the intent to make coffee and breakfast while allowing my husband to sleep in. I came out on my porch and let them run around as I noticed that my flowers are blossoming around my home. They look beautiful. The yard is the next to follow. The American flag is swaying side to side as it dangles off one of the columns attached to my home. The sun is so bright; I literally began thinking of going to get my shades and that is when the song hit me: the future’s so bright, I got to wear shades!!!

So, as I got to thinking about how bright the future is, I got to thinking about how many of us quit before we reach a destined point in our path, which may have better refined our road to glory. Let me tell you something before I go on, because I just need to say it: You are worth all the glory there is to offer, no matter where you are, who you are, and what you may have done. We can change our steps by simply redefining ourselves along with our plan. Now, I always have a plan. I have a plan A, a plan B, a plan C, and to be honest, I have a plan that goes all the way down to the end of the alphabet until I have to start doubling up the letters and adding roman numerals on to them. Sometimes things do not go accordingly, and when they don’t, we need to step back and redefine what it is that we are doing. Maybe our outcome isn’t the problem, but instead it is us. Maybe we missed a crucial point in the planning process.

You know, I had always wanted to be a lawyer, I really did. But something was unsettling with me about becoming a lawyer that of course I did not become one. There were many variables that came into play for me not going to law school, and for a while it was hard for me to cope because that was the only real plan that I had for myself; that is until I stopped to look at what it was that I wanted to do. Going to law school was going to be my means to helping vulnerable populations or people who were unable to help themselves. I really thought that was the only way I could fight injustice or redefine what justice means, but it’s not. To be honest, I lived a pretty sheltered life by parents, and I am thankful for that in a lot of ways. It has kept me sane in a world full of chaos. However, I have taken to look at the outcome of my road process. I am not saying that I may never go to law school, but right now I am happy pursing my masters in social work. I am happy with the idea of applying to Chapel Hill for a PhD in Social Work or perhaps studying psychology and focusing on what causes aggression (something that I have recently became interested in while pursing my masters, random I know), or perhaps maybe even getting a PhD in public policy because I would love to be a part of the rewriting policies that seek to help victims but in reality may hamper victims. So, you see, the outcome of what it was that I wanted to do never changed, helping people, becoming a better me. However, the means were not through what I intentionally thought they were going to be. We walk on a cycle sometimes until we find the point to get off and find somewhere to plant new seeds (ideas and such).

It is not easy getting to where you need to be, but it doesn’t have to be hard either; it can be fun, challenging, and rewarding all together. Anything worth having is created through love and assiduous work. Just placate your mind with this idea that this will not last forever, you are unwaveringly devoted to success, and that you will wallow in your glory sooner than later. Every day you are closer to success. If it is something say dealing with math, and you have never been that strong with numbers, does not mean you should not do it. You do not have to be extremely smart to succeed in things, you just have to be willing to work at it, stay focused, and willing to grow and learn. At least this is what I believe, and I am only basing this off of my own growth and watching people’s futures around me.

Have you ever stopped to think that we are in the front row to watch not only our own future, but the future of others around us? If you ever have a question about how something may turn out, just look around you, it’s in the diligent or indolent steps of others; the answers are right in front of us all. Remember write down your plan no matter how terrible your grammar may be, or how silly your handwriting may look, it is yours and own it. Love every moment of becoming the success you designed yourself to be. Don’t quit off of technicalities, because quitters are the biggest losers in the end. Rise like the full moon did last night, and shine as bright a beautiful, by just keeping your faith and trying :o)

Breaking the Crappy Habit in 21 Days

Confession: They say it takes 21 days to break a habit, so I am going to put something to the test. I have been on a habitual happiness theme this week, perhaps spilling over a little from the previous week, and here I am now, loving my days even more than the day prior. I’ve had a minor setback here and there, but nothing too drastic to where I could not rise above. So, I am going to put this “habitual happiness” theme to the test for 21 days (starting today) and prove that we can breakdown pessimism, before it breaks us.

I’ve had this theme that I have passed around this week (Habitual Happiness) because I believe in the climate that we are immersed in now, we have to keep happiness at the forefront of our minds. It is too easy to self-loath, wallow in pessimism, and pick up diffident characteristics. I have never been the type of person to escartz my feelings; fake the funk if you will. Nevertheless, I often feel as though I am cheating myself out of something by choosing the nasty feeling, because let’s be honest it can feel good. It can feel overwhelmingly good to speak your mind to someone that just isn’t doing it the way that you believe they should (even though you’re not the boss of anyone). It seems justified to be blunt and to the point when someone steps out of line (even though some things need to be left unsaid). It feels rewarding at times when you leave someone feeling dumb founded, because you got the last word (even though you may know how it feels to be someone who has more to say with no one there to listen). However, I am here to say that those are fleeting moments of happiness, and that we aren’t being fair or true to ourselves. In fact, they are lying moments of happiness, because you cannot be truly happy stealing joy in those ways. So, now you know that I feel the weight of the world, I feel the sadness that lurks in the darkness allies, and I know the taste of sour feelings just as you do, but that was never and will never be what we truly desire.

However, I believe it is all up to us ultimately. I think I have stated before that I do not believe that things happen for a reason, because that takes the free will out of our choice. I believe essentially we have free will and we make our own decisions and outcomes. We attract the things that come into our lives for the most part, and although it is hard to understand or wrap your head around comprehending this concept, does not mean it is not true. So, in order to relieve myself, well ourselves, of this ever pressing issue, I suggest from here on out we just turn our backs. Every time you see something negative that you don’t like, instead of accepting the negative energy or terrible consequence, make the decision to turn away from the situation. Literally, and I mean this as in literally, envision yourself in your mind on that problem or circumstance, and then refocus on what it is that you do want.

I am a strong believer that thoughts become things, I truly believe that. I look around my life and see things that I have wanted so badly that have manifest and in other areas of my life, I have seen how things do not work out all because of doubt. I had chosen to look at the possibilities of things not working out, because so many people around me had their things not working out. I believe this is a learned behavior. I am not looking at that anymore. So, along with being habitually happy and loving with gratitude the things that we do have, place in your mind with an unwavering faith of at least this size (.) that the entity you want is only but so big. When you make things unattainable in your mind, they become unattainable in a tangible sense; the things are only gigantic because you make them that way. We are living creatures here to live an amazing life, not one full of sadness and pain. Just because heart break may make us appreciate love does not mean we have to experience heart break 10 times over in order to harness or harvest the feeling of appreciation towards love.

So, I am going to turn my back to the things that I don’t like. I am literally, going to remove myself out of the situations that are not pleasing to my eyes, pleasing to my ears, and what is not pleasing to my spirit. I am going to do these things in faith and with the objective of achieving true happiness and breaking the habit of sadness and or pessimism. Do not let the opinion of your fellow man or woman taint your idea of a beautiful outcome. The magnificent Singer and Poet Katy Perry has once said and I am paraphrasing because I’m not good with remembering the lyrics, “You’re original and cannot be erased, if you only knew what the future holds, after a hurricane comes a rainbow, maybe the reason why all the doors are closed, is so you’ll open one that leads you to the perfect road.”

Let’s be happy in all the ways we can be by turning our backs on all the nasty negative things that haunt us. This does not mean neglect responsibility and replace it with your “right” to be happy. Be mindful of the ones around you and have a considerate heart, it will lead you to some of the most beautiful, mind blowing moments of your lifetime. Now, that is a confessional guarantee.

With overwhelming love and gratitude,


Confessional Therapist

Touch your dreams ... the are only but so far.

Writing: Death Dealer

Confession: Conformity has always been interesting to me, for the mere fact that the idea of me ever emboding something so intense is foreign to me. However, I am exploring this concept as to what makes people so easily led. Is it the battle of lies and truth that they struggle with amongst themselves, or is it something else. Whatever it may be, the journey to understand such a concept will be interesting. And interestingly enough, I put together this quick little writing that made me think about how lies, and perhaps even the truth, can lead us into an emotional darken stage within our lives; not fully knowing how to get control over our souls again, let alone find a safe way out. It's called: Death Dealer.

Click the link, it will take you to the short writing: http://www.thestarlitecafe.com/poems/105/poem_91183895.html

Sometimes, I feel the weight of the World ...

Confession: : My stress levels fluctuate sporadically, which leaves me in a state of uncertainty. Optimistic beliefs cannot completely shield me from myself or my own wandering mind.

**This blog is about working out and stress, don’t worry, we will get to the routine of the week; I just need a mental cleansing first.

The confession above is true in fact about me. I am a person who embodies empathy as well as hope, but at times I often lose my hope when engaging in the problems of others. I’m not sure if I am explaining this right, but I’m doing my best. Even when things do not directly affect me, if it is someone that I know, care about (not even, but instead hear about) their problem or issue finds a place in my heart and prayers.

How often do we allow stress to get in the way of our hopes and dreams? Stress is so bad on our bodies that it promotes fat in the mid section, it takes away our energy to do things, and it takes away our desires as well.

So this week, I want us all to focus on minimizing the stress by not allowing things to bother us that much. Let's try to focus on something that we want to do an dput our energy into that. Let's try to ignore the gabs and temptations of returning malice comments or evil stares when someone crosses us wrong; but instead, find another way to get our point across.

When we think about the people that surrounds us, let's remember how wonderful it is to have them in our lives. If they are not bringing you joy, comfort, and progression within yourself, then I ask you to challenge the validity of that relationship. Make the hard choice to do the right thing this week, and let's get in the habit of happiness.

This week's work out will be the same as last week. I am going to try and do everything that I suggested last week instead of mixing it up. So I am going to repost that. If I change something (which there are exercises in Fitness and Shape magazines that I want to attempt) I will let you know along the way.

Monday March 7: Yoga, followed by Step Aerobics, and maybe a one mile run; and a walk with the dogs for a light stretch in the evening

Tuesday: Pilates and a 4-5 mile run (I really want to do a 5 mile, but I haven't done it in a while, so I say 4 to be safe).

Wednesday: Yoga followed by Step, and maybe a one mile run afterwards; and a walk in the evening to stretch

Thursday: Pilates and Spinning and maybe a 15 minute workout on the elliptical or walk on an incline on the treadmill or track for 15 minutes

Friday: Yoga and Zumba for sure!! Last Friday was awesome!

Saturday: Run outside four miles

Sunday: Step and Yoga


Love you guys and thank you for taking the time to read my blog!

STAY:

Go HARD or Go HOME!!!

Confession: I thought I was going to die this week from working out, and I almost quit, QUIT on my Thursday run. It's true .... but you know what happens when people QUIT (as my husband would so eloquently suggest), PEOPLE DIE! It's an Army thing, perhaps even Military thing.

Go hard or go home, was the advice swindling amongst the brain paths in my head, whispering you can do it Trinity, you're almost there. My body screamed at me that it hated me, and it didn't want to be my friend. I'm surprised out of malice that it didn't just collapse to prove a point. Now you may be wondering, was I pushing myself too much? To be honest, I don't know. I couldn't tell if I was just really exhausted from the previous workouts, or was I being a chode and not wanting to finish. I'll ponder on some sort of enlightenment as I tell you my success of the week. I do want to hear about yours, so don't be afraid to comment. Let the world know about your workouts and how you're getting that body cute!

Monday Workout: Was absolutely awesome!!! My friend Rachel that lives near me went to Yoga and Step class with me. It was so much fun, and it fired me up for the week. The Yoga class was the perfect amount of stretching, centering, and muscle usage. The Step class was nonstop move-your-butt moves. I mean these ladies were getting it good. They were modifying the simple steps, twirling around like tinkerbells and little Jet Leis; you would think I was in a dance club held inside of an octagon the way they were moving. You had to be careful because it was easy to get kicked or slapped (which I did a couple of times in Friday Zumba, totally accidental), it was SLAMMED PACKED!!!!!!!!!!!! So overall, on this day I stayed true to my Monday workout plan.

Tuesday: Oh, Lord. Ladies and perhaps Gents, I woke up completely sore from Step aerobics. I thought I had sprained my calf muscle or something. I didn't make it to pilates class, but I did do a pilates slash yoga here at my home by myself. I've danced as well as done enough pilates to know moves and really get my stretch on, so it was worth it. As far as the 4-5 mile run went, it went well, really well in fact. I BROKE A RECORDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD (that was in my Oprah voice!) I actually ran five miles in the neighborhood across from mine, because my neighborhood has like two streets literally and that's it; small and personal. So, I steal the running paths in the neighborhood across from me. It's not like they use it much anyway. So, this path that I do is one lap around, which includes at least three pretty decent hills and one HUGE hill that changes my life every single time we meet face to face. My husband tracked the lap, and it is approximately 2.1 miles around. So, I have been know to do it twice a few times, its hard running outside for me compared to running on a treadmill. As I'm running around for the FIRST time, I'm telling myself, no it's fine, I'll just do four miles, no big deal that's still great. But then I start thinking of you all, and my accountability factor. There was going to be a point in time that I was going to have to attempt that damn run around for the third time, so why not Tuesday, why not in that moment, I asked myself? Then I answered with, "Go hard or go home trinity, literally walk or run your stank ass across the street, and just sit down if you aren't going to take this seriously!" So, when I was done yelling at myself, belittling the weakness that was tugging at my heart strings, I said screw it, today is the day I make the attempt. The second time around I got a great second wind, and when I started a third time I couldn't believe it. My knee started hurting so I cut through, but I made it through another mile to complete the run to a five mile run! That was a huge accomplishment for me and set the tone of go hard or go home for me this week!

Wednesday: Was rough!!! Wednesday's plan was to do yoga followed by step. I didn't do yoga, I stretched at home by doing my own crunches, leg lifts, and butt exercises (I will have to post a separate blog because they are awesome). I did however, turn up the heat. I went to Step and followed Step by doing a Spin class. So, Wednesday was a two hour full of cardio day that I am sure to repeat. My friend Rachel joined me for Spin. It was fun, and the best part about it was that when I looked out the window while I was spinning, I got to see the planes on Pope take off. It was so awesome, they were so huge, and it was just a peaceful serene sight.

Thursday: I was pooped from Wednesday, but I wanted to do Booty Camp, I mean Body Camp. But I was an hour late, I had got my times mixed up. Can you believe that?? Anyway, I looked in the workout area, and there were tons of treadmills open, so I figured, let's just do a five mile run; yes, again. I was hoping to do that on Tuesday on a treadmill but I did it outside, so why not do two five miles in a week, right? WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!!!!!
Oh-my-God, I literally prayed to Jesus. I'm not a runner, never have been, but I have always admired the sport. It's so mental! So, I get on and I'm feeling great for the first mile, the second mile I'm starting to feel heavy, and when I reach the third, I want to quit, I want to give up, I just don't think I can make it type of attitude. My pants felt so heavy, big mistake for wearing them, everything irritated me (I snatched my ear phones out being completely dramatic) and I just had to talk to myself. I told myself that I could slow down and just run a slow slow pace, but then when I agreed to that my dumb butt decided to speed it up and run a sprint for a minute, because I didn't want to be weak. I almost died (I know I was close), but it made the mile go by a little faster. When I got to the fourth mile, I was literally having to remind myself to stand up straight, don't run hunched over, it does nothing for the core. I told myself just three more songs, as I tried to hear my music from the whispers of the headphones (remember, I snatched them off from irritation); when I got to the fifth mile, I didn't feel like a victor, but instead I felt like a survivor. I felt like I had been through something so traumatic, and so serious that I needed therapy. Anyway, I will never wear pants again on a second five mile in the week. I will attempt this again next week because I am going HARD!!!!!!!!!!

Friday: Glorious, cool down Friday!! I had so many appointments that the only class I could make it to was ZUMBA!!!!!! I went to the same Zumba class, but it's so packed that you have to sign up and get a bracelet. They had two body guards standing by the door the entire time. They were like Zumba bouncers, and I am not even coming close to joking or pulling your chain. I am not that clever or funny, I couldn't make this stuff up. I mean they stood guarding each entrance of the door with folded arms, I had to show them my bracelet before I was admitted. CRAZY!!!! Anyway, it was awesome. I could hardly move to start so I had to get warmed up. It so happens that I was zumbaing next to my yoga instruct (the little Asian one, she is so cute!!!) she is such a sweet lady; she does bring the pain, but she always brings treats like peppermint smelling stuff to open our senses. Anyway, after we had our dance off in Zumba, my yoga instructor told me I should get my Zumba instructor's license. I thought that was sweet, but I don't think I have rhythm for that. She was serious though, she approached me multiple times with it during our class that she convinced me to at least think about it, and so I am.

This week was pretty successful. Yesterday I didn't do much, but except stretch. Today is Sunday, and I am contemplating on going to a yoga and step this evening, but I kind of want to rest my body some. My calves are finally calming down. I did soak in a beautifully hot bath this week and treated myself to a mani and pedi which was awesome. I believe in the recovery process, because right now, I'm probably tearing my muscles to reshape them or something. I have lactic acid flowing through my body, making me appear bloated and heavier. My body will calm down and begin adjusting. Also, I have been consuming at least 80 ounces of water, and watching what I eat. So, this week has been pretty successful.

I haven't decided on my plan for next week, but look for it this evening, because I am going to line it out!!! Thank you for reading, and I hope to hear some of your stories!

Keep it up and stay encouraged, you can do anything you want to do if you just try. It's just that simple!

De-Clutter and Re-create your Life

Since this is a confessional blog, I am going to start every blog off (unless it is a piece of writing) with a confession.

Confession: I have a nasty habit of interrupting people when I am passionate about an issue or subject we are discussing. Not to make an excuse, it has nothing to do with whether or not I disagree or agree with them, but instead, it comes from the multiple fleeting thoughts that I do not want to forget, begging for a chance to be released through my words. So, I just spew them, and sometimes, with little regard of my conversational partner. If I have done this to you, maybe you understand me a little more now, and I offer a true heartfelt apology.

So, now that I have identified a personal issue that happens to be interrupting other people, I began to wonder does it interfere with me personally, in any other way. Of course it does, how could it not? Often, more times than not, we interrupt ourselves without even noticing; even if you have not developed a habit like mine. Does that mean we do not value our own voice, or is it something bigger? Have we been told to cool it, or quite down one too many times? Have we been shunned or ridiculed for opining? How many times have we allowed ourselves to not finish a complete thought, but instead, we jump to another subject. Perhaps, the notion you were thinking about was a bit too heavy at the time, maybe you didn’t have the answers, or maybe you weren’t asking the right questions; which leads me to my next point.

In order to stop cluttering our lives, we have to stop interrupting ourselves and really listen. Remove the useless antics, stop with the self-loathing that leads to self mutilating forms; rather it is a physical lashing (cutting, hitting, or even overeating) to a mental lashing (strong diffidence: wallowing in low self esteem, denying ourselves praises, or believing the negative from different sources including ourselves).

My interrupting habit has manifested itself into a form of interrupting myself. I wonder how many times have I tried to listen to God and I have interrupted even him. When you block yourself or allow occludes to be ever present in your life, hoping to defend yourself from multiple offenses, we often are closing ourselves off from other good things, positive results. Enigmatic thought, isn’t it? To be honest, it doesn’t have to be though. It all starts with the first step, recognition.

In order to de-clutter your life, you, me, all of us, need to stop interrupting ourselves and listen to the complete thoughts and reasons that come along with these momentous and profound heady-thought events. Take some time out to pamper yourself, and I suggest this because it allows you to connect with yourself. You began to realize what you like, what you don’t like. For example, get a manicure so you can start to begin to love the way your hands look, feel, and move. In those moments of pampering, you can relax and breathe, while listening to the inner you that has tons of things to say. Stop to watch your body, your expressions, and your laugh sometimes.

To upshot, yes, I’m wrapping it up, I just want to point out one more thing. In order to get over the bad things in life, we have to be able to listen to ourselves, and remove the baggage. Unpack your bag, you’re staying for more than one night, it’s okay because you are welcome. If you need to go inside of your closet and throw the old dresses, pants, or shirt (metaphorically speaking) do that as well, make room for a more refined you. Your mind, your body, your soul, and your spirit are all welcomed by you; at the very least they should be. If you do not invite yourself in, who else would not be hesitant to let you in; surely you can trust yourself, or do you not? Perhaps that is a question you should ask yourself. Let us all ask the right questions and not offer empty answers, because too often we do that as well. In the midst of bad moments, we all can find it hard to remember a good memory; it is sad that good memories are so fleeting. However, they do not have to be. Stop, look, and listen to yourself and that is when you can start the de-cluttering process of your life. I am not huge on selfishness, I believe in altruism; however, it is okay to take time out for YOU and not feel GUILTY ABOUT IT. So, I guess I am trying to say, it is not being selfish if you are being self serving, because the self serving is a stepping stone for you to start serving others. Think of how mentally freeing this world would be and at ease if we followed these simple steps.

Ask yourself, how you are doing and mean it. When you give an answer listen NOT just because the answer is important, but because your voice is important as well. This is not only a right, but a responsibility for all of us. Even if you have to complain to yourself, let it out; nevertheless, in the midst, find the source of this energy and stop it before it consumes who you are. Control your attributes and characteristics. Recreate your future by redesigning your today, and following through tomorrow. Make the commitment, every second, every minute, and every hour to be a better you. Simply, de-clutter.



Hi, I'm Trinity, and it's really nice to finally meet me. Clarity at its best, leads us to beauty moments like these:

Wedding Wednesday: Matching Making at its Finest

So, I was thinking that there are celebrities out there that just don't know how to date these days. I think their faith should be left up to someone else other than themselves. If you are wondering what my credentials are for setting people up, well you can just ask a few of my friends that happened to have gotten married after I introduced them or at least had a great relationship for the most part. I can just introduce you and suggest that you will be good together, and it is up to you to make it work (I take no responsibility with nasty split-ups, just the set up portions). But nonetheless, I really do have a great eye for these things. This week on Wedding Wednesday (first post of its kind), I would like to discuss the famous solo bachelors and bachelorettes, starting with, of course, sexy Jennifer Anniston and the studdly George Clooney.

So, George says he will probably never remarry, and Jennifer is in no rush. Nevertheless, I feel that these two nomadic souls have what it takes to become as one. Yes, I said become as one. To speak candidly, when I was younger, perhaps it was in People's Magazine that put out the sexiest people alive awards, I knew then that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie would make an amazing couple. I know you are probably gasping, clinging to your Team Jen side or whatever, but let's be honest, we don't know the make up of their relationships; we just don't. Another honest statement is, I also never cared for the look of Jennifer Anniston and Brad Pitt, though I have always loved both of them, separately. I know my opinion doesn't matter, but I'm giving it anyway. I just think that people should be with someone that compliments them well on multiple levels.

Jennifer and George believe it or not, have more in common than meets the eye. I think they should at least date, once. Who cares if George is Brad's friend, he didn't care when she dated Vince. Does anyone else think that it is strange that Jennifer dated Vince after Mr. and Mrs. Smith, while Angie and Brad began to date openly, after? Maybe Vince dished all the dirty secrets of what happened between Brad and Angie on the set. You really have to be memorizing to occupy another woman's husband without doing anything sexually or making any sexual promises (that's their claim and their sticking to it), but I guess that's just Angelina for you. You know, the psychic twins predicted that they are going to break up, and this is the one thing that I have to disagree with them on; call it my psychic powers intervining. I love Angie, but this blog isn't about her. Back to Jenny ...

The biggest misconception is that Jen Jen is unhappy, and that is self proclaimed from her. You know what, I believe her, and I never believed the multiple reports that somehow she was depressed. This woman has an amazing career, regardless what you think about her movies. She has a set of great friends, and she can date pretty much whoever she wants; so it's not like she's lacking in the sex department or anything.

George does the same thing as Jennifer. He is a free spirit, often misread and people think that he is unhappy and unlucky with love. These two people are happy individuals that can live in happy unmarital bliss as long as they both shall live, if they just give it a try. I think it would do them some good. Even though they may have some differences, perhaps the other can be the ying while the other is the yang. Who knows, but I just look at those two and think they would work, I just know it.

Who's with me on this one?

Dear Victoria, shame on you. I know your secret.

Dear Victoria Secret,

I have a confession of the heart to make, and I do apologize if I offend you as this letter proceeds. I've loved you from the moment that I saw your magazine. As a matter of fact, I always dreamed of one day being an Angel. I've had the height for quite sometime, and I've had the weight (more not than often). Nevertheless, I loved that you had the Tyras, Selitas, Heidis, Giselles, and Adriannas all walking down the runway together, letting us know that beauty comes in multiple shades. Naomi Campbell has even graced your runway before, and that dynamic just completed the shades of beauty that wore your clothes. I especially got excited when you started using Jessica White. She is of a beautiful dark skin complexion, and she shows how beautiful dark skin women can be in bathing suits, yoga clothes (as if we don't work out), and the latest shoes designed by Steve Madden.

The thing is, the other day when I went to your website to look at bathing suits, I did not see Jessica White in the bathing suit section, or really anywhere. Not that I only care about seeing her, but it helps me as a darker skinned women, visualize what colors would look good on my skin. I hate that things have to be about race in this country, I really do. I hate that I can count the number of super models on my hand that are African American, and that we are still in the "first" stages of everything. Nonetheless, this is the defect of our birth as Americans. I just loved you Victoria, because you seemed to push the idea of beauty when everyone else was at a standstill.

I will forgive you Victoria, because I do not believe your actions were intentional; I just don't believe they were meant to hurt my feelings or make me wonder about you. But I do ask you not to go backwards, but continue moving forward, scouring the land for beautiful beauties of all shades, including mine. I'm just going to make the simple request to bring Jessica White back, so that I can see someone like me, wearing your clothes, so that I know what it will look like. Contrary to popular beliefs, African Americans do like the beach, we do like to swim, and the sun is just as beautiful to us as it is to anyone else. You may not know this, but it matters to me. It matters to me that there are thousands of pictures on your site with beautiful women that don't look like me, and then I can only find two pictures of girls that look like me, just two. It makes me feel as though people my complexion are either not appreciated for their skin complexion, or we just aren't considered beautiful. I hate that I can count on my hands, and when I do count on my hands, the number comes back extremely low. Under the dress section is where I found the two models, and you know what, I own one out of the two dresses shown. I bought the dress because of how beautiful it was on Jessica's skin. Perhaps, we can move the amount up to five pictures this year, and spread it between the bra tops tab and the bathing suits? So, as someone who has spent a lot of money on your clothes and has a closet full to prove it, I just ask you to put Jessica White in a few swim suits so I can see what it will look like on me. Or maybe, if you want a change, you can use me, no complaints or objections here. I still have the dream of being an Angel.

Here is the dress that I bought, which Jessica is modeling below:

Here is a picture of me in case you are wondering what I look like Victoria. As a matter of fact, here are a few pictures of me Victoria at different times, but they have one thing in common, I am wearing your clothes. One dress, the white one, I have in both colors (the purple and white version), hence the fact that I am a huge supporter of your company.

Just thought I would let you know what matters to me. My words are my words alone, and do not speak for everyone, and that is not my intention. I just thought, since we have established a relationship on you producing clothes that I love and me supporting your product, you would like to hear my latest confession.

Warmest regards,

Trinity

Disclaimer: These are not my photos. All rights belong to Victoria Secret, an amazing clothing company.

I Danced with God Today ...

Today was like any other day for me, normal, with nothing exciting lurking in the shadows. I woke up with this immense sadness on my chest. I discussed this prior that perhaps being sad has become habitual to the point that I just am that way without intentionally meaning to be, it just is so.

Anyway, I went to yoga (amazing, but for another blog) and I followed by having a great time in the step class (a really good friend joined me, will be in another blog). Interestingly enough, while I was in a relaxation pose towards the end of yoga, I closed my eyes and tried to become one with myself. I tried to get into my own head and answer the question of why I have allowed something so pessimistic and foreign to is shape, change, and alter a new me, without intentionally meaning to.

I closed my eyes, and as I laid on the floor, trying to find the rhythm of my heart and the sound of my inner voice, God asked me to dance. A gentle hand reached for mine and we began, just like that. It may sound silly or funny or ridiculous even, but he did. As a dancer who has yet practiced her art in quite sometime, I didn't miss a beat in my dream really; if I did, it didn't matter. God twirled me around and made me smile, he lifted me up in the air, and we moved as one unit. As I tripped or stumbled, he caught my arm or leg and twisted me away from my misshap, and we kept the dancing going. I moved and became the best dancer I had every been in this moment, and I was so happy. I danced with God. It was beautiful. I thought about the energy that I was putting off in the world, recognizing we all are apart of our circumstances. I realized that I was missing the bigger picture, and I realized that I wanted to use my energy and my life to change the world, my world. As I sat up, keeping my eyes closed, the instructor stated something along the lines that we are a constant energy that should be used for good. Her words resonnated with my dance, my dance with God. I smiled and kept smilling.

When I left the class and I went to buy my lunch, I looked on the wall and saw something amazing. I saw a statement that said this: If you want to predict the future, start by creating your life.

I realized then that through coincidences, I was having an ongoing conversation with God. It was as though he was whispering in my ear as we danced our sweet, amazing dance. We hold the change that our heart craves and desires. I realized that I will have to commit every day to a better me, and that saying I will today, doesn't necessarily flow into tomorrow. It's like forgiving, where you have to make a conscious effort to forgive every day. I will make that effort, and yes, I got this all from one dance. I danced with God today, and I realized he was something else to me, my ballroom dance partner. Together we will become champions, in this life and perhaps the next.

What a beautiful dance it was.

A Poem: Reoccurring Dream

I live in my reoccurring dream that he is possible
That the trace of his finger tips will not be left to my imagination
I close my eyes and I can hear his whispers … my heart is awaken
His voice is … pure … seductive… soulful … addictive like sex
And I want it over and over again

His eyes are so piercing that my soul becomes shy
And his features are so memorizing
I can stare for hours and not get bored
I’m so in love … if love can even describe what I feel

Take my breath away … he can have every gasp
I’ll live breathless if I can just be in his presence
I don’t need air if I can smell his natural scent … at least once
His arms seem so strong and yet so invitingly alluring
Cozy is the correct ellipsis
I can see the paralysis taken affect for days at a time …

What would it be like to be the center of his attention?
Or for our fingers to find peace by coupling our hands together
I wonder about his taste … If only my lips could make it to his
I want to know his talents and imperfections
So that I can learn to appreciate them both
I want to be the relaxation his heart craves …
A sigh of relief he desperately yearns for
Most of all … I want to be his reoccurring dream …
As he is mine …

By: Trinity R. Salazar

This poem I wrote for a character in my novel.  It's a really interesting and important piece of the book, this feeling here because it describes the beginning of a love relationship.  I thought I would share with you all; normally I only post my work on starlite, but I figured why not share with you all.  I hope you enjoy!

My Booty and the Blues ...

Okay, I promise to stop starting my blog names off with the word Booty ... but I kind of like it, which I do know may be weird for some people.  Nonetheless, this post is about me whipping my booty into shape and the fact that I have the blues. 

I don't know what is wrong with me that sometimes I get up in the morning, and I instantly feel sad.  I tell myself that I am sad, and to be honest, there is nothing going on really that should make me feel so completely sad.  Where has my hope gone?  I feel like it has been replaced with this latent lurking lament feeling.  Can feeling sad become habitual?  The reason I ask that question is because I was once sad for a while, and it was an every day feeling.  I have always been the optimistic type and I themed my life off of words like hope, faith, and happiness.  But now, for some odd reason, it is kind of hard to find that pep again.  I hate this feeling, and I want to go back to the old one.

Anyway, this week I am going to complete an entire week of doing something physical.  On my off days I am still going to walk with my dogs, and stretch lightly, perhaps even take up chanting.  Maybe that will help with some of my blues. I have been writing more of my fiction novel, and I have some great ideas.  I wish I knew of some creative writing classes I could take online that would help me out, as of right now I'm kind of clueless with who is legit and who is not.  Sorry to switch subjects in the middle of writing about my workout, but this blog in its entirety will be about my life, feelings, and random thoughts that pop into my head.

Okay, so below I am going to outline my intentions for the week:

Monday March 7: Yoga, followed by Step Aerobics, and maybe a one mile run; and a walk with the dogs for a light stretch in the evening

Tuesday: Pilates and a 4-5 mile run (I really want to do a 5 mile, but I haven't done it in a while, so I say 4 to be safe).

Wednesday: Yoga followed by Step, and maybe a one mile run afterwards; and a walk in the evening to stretch

Thursday: Pilates and Spinning and maybe a 15 minute workout on the elliptical or walk on an incline on the treadmill or track for 15 minutes

Friday: Yoga and Zumba for sure!! Last Friday was awesome!

Saturday: Run outside four miles

Sunday: Step and Yoga

This is my plan this week, if it deviates I will let you know!!

Something positive that I am going to remind myself that with each moment that we live, our thoughts and our actions are what defines us as people.  I will be positive and stay up beat, because I am in control of my own happiness; no one can give that to me but instead just provide it as an extra.  I am going to make a conscious effort to love every bit of life, good and bad.  I am going to be happy habitually :o)~

I want these bathing suits and I want to look like this in it. So ..............

LET'S GET OUR GROOVE ON THIS WEEK AND OUR BOOTIES IN BOOTY SHAKING SHAPE!!!!

Booty Camp ... Say What?

So, March Madness has already proven to be rigged with insane instructors, really looking to whoop my hinny into shape. My legs feel foreign, I have a numbness in my butt that just won't go away, and my arms are screaming for some sort of upper body strength so that they never have to struggle in a plank again :o)

This week, as I stated I was going to work out and update you all on my progress. So, I did my spin class, which by the way was awesome.  Everyone is so productive, and I often wondered as we travelled down our invisible paths together, were they really turning up the resistance knob, or were they pretending?  You know, faking the funk by glidding their hands around the resistance knob, signaling that they turned it up.  You can kind of tell who is really putting on the resistance and who pretends, because their peddles instantly get harder to push and it slows down.  Unless you're a beast like me and resistance can't stop you, no one can!!! Totally and completely kidding. 

So, the next day I thought I would do a nice cool down with a Boot Camp class.  I figured it would be cardio, but almost like a kickboxing class that I can handle, right? WRONG! I walk in and I see that everyone is getting weights, and I'm thinking no big deal, probably something to do with minor resistance or arm defining exercises, right? WRONG AGAIN! This class was full of lunges, burpees, planks, push ups, squats coming out of squats to only end in a squat, and football running. You know, where the football player is in a semi squat running in place, so like a squat run if you will.  Anyway, you get the picture.  Boot camp instantly changed in my mind to BOOTY CAMP! It was ridiculous. 

However, and this is a minor however, I did not want to feel so defeated, so I did something silly.  I decided after Booty Camp I would hit the treadmill, because one little class wasn't going to defeat me, and I still had energy, right? Wrong, well kind of wrong.  I only managed to run a mile, and walk a mile on an incline.  When I stepped off the treadmill, I just knew my legs were going to cave in like a house of cards in front of like 30 people. Somehow, I managed to walk out with my dignity barely in tact.

The next day, I was thinking that I would do a nice cool down yoga, right? Wrong! This yoga class, taught by the cutest sweetest little Asian lady, was once again full of planks, PLANKS, and more PLANKS, and lunges! She wasn't as sweet as she looks, hence the notion that looks can be deceiving.  I just wanted to stretch and breathe, and that was all.  I didn't understand how I was in another predicament where my legs may just fall off of my body. Yoga smoga, it was unlike any yoga I had done before. Anyway, I will be doing it again, but perhaps not after completing a booty camp class the day prior. 

Again, not wanting to feel defeated I participated in a Zumba class.  Now, I was hesitant at first, because to be honest, the Zumba classes I had previously taken were kind of silly. But I am glad I stayed.  It was a lot of fun, but it was a lot of work.  My teacher was this little fire cracker, bouncing off the walls, giving little direction and only signaling us to follow her lead.  The booty shaking was insane. My instructor split us up into two groups for us to have a booty shaking battle, it was funny and awkard all in the same.  There were a lot of booties in the air, and no guys around to loose their minds lol.  I just knew after a week of this my hinny would have redefined itself, and I can feel it transforming now (not really, but in due time im sure).  My instructor had so much energy, and I was so envious!! I wanted to keep bouncing and jumping around like her, but it wasn't happening. Maybe it's because of my new old age (26, turning 27, trying to grasp the concept that I'm not getting any younger) that my energy has suddenly declined.  Doesn't working out amplify your energy. After I'm done with spin, and it only happens when I do a spin class that I feel like taking a nap, right there on the bike.  I don't know why I feel so sleepy!

So anyway, while I was working out this week and thinking hard about March Madness and this accountability factor thing, I started thinking of ways to make sure that I will stay committed.  I was reading in a fitness magazine about a fitness contest that ends in April.  I am going to enter into the contest and use this contest as motivation.  It should be interesting and fun.  So far, I am exhausted, I'm sore, and for some reason I am so ready for more.  Hehe, that's like a little theme song! I'm exhausted, I'm sore, and I'm ready for MORE! Okay, enough of being a complete dork!

I have realized that I have a problem, a huge problem with sweets.  It is so hard to give up.  I don't drink soda, I eat pretty healthy, I don't eat fast food, but I love everything candy. I think the only way I am going to be successful is by putting my sweets on a diet themselves.  Therefore, only two days out of the week starting next week will I allow myself to eat a few sweets.  They will be on the days that I do heavy cardio, therefore, I can work off any extra calories I obtain from the sweets :o).

Overall, I think this month has gotten off to a pretty decent start.  For those of you that are starting to run, I am going to say the most cliche but truest thing about conquering it, it really is mental.  I use to hate running because I was terrible at it.  I mean I was decent in high school, but when I got out of high school, it wasn't fun anymore.  I started to look at my time and how I couldn't pass a mile without stopping.   But now, I can run like the wind.  When you are running, you should find a nice speed that you feel comfortable at.  Breathe through the terrible moments that you feel like you're going to die, because believe it or not (though in the moment it is hard to believe) it is fleeting, and it will be over soon.  You will reach your next peak, and you will get to your next mile or mark with no problem.  Make sure you have eaten something prior or at least had a decent amount of water so that you are hydrated.  Stretch well and put on some good tunes so that you don't get bored.  A lot of times when I want to stop running, it is only because I am bored and there isn't anything around keeping my attention.  Lastly, here is an exercise that my old trainer gave me to help increase my running abilities. 

In intervals complete this exercise: Run for 2 minutes at a consistent speed without stopping, then run on a sprint (your pace sprint) for 1 minute, and then walk for 2 minutes.  Repeat this until you reach a mile. 

I use to do this over and over, and it really helped me reach my mile goals. Now, I can run 3 miles without thinking twice, and five miles without feeling like I am really going to die.  Sooner or later, I am hoping to be able to run 8 miles or 10 miles without it being such a big deal.  After all, we are just people without any true reason of wanting to run except for getting in shape.  It isn't for a job or anything like that so enjoy it and take your time creating your groove.  Enjoy your weight loss, because it is exciting to see your hard work manifest itself.  Good luck, and I will see you in the beginning of next week with my workout plans! I look forward to hearing your stories and plans as well, so please keep me updated!! Good Luck!!