Hollow Hands
As time clicks away each minute, second by second the emptiness around closes in on me
Dauntless, the loneliness teases and taunts me, whispering cheap creaks through the cracks in the floor boards
The space is welcoming; the walls are forgiving, cold, and somewhat friendly
Hollow hands reach for my friendship, mimicking laughter imitates joy, and satisfaction protrudes nowhere near me.
Lost words, broken thoughts, searching for something to distract me by sight
The lone night presents a faulty security; in truth it’s dangerous and threatening
I am here, self secluded, compellingly weak and sad
I wasn’t ready, ready to be alone without you.
Yet here I stand, by myself
Within these tears
Within these tears you will find confusion and frustration fighting for my emotional attention
You will find beauty redefined through pain and a darken awakening
Within these tears you will find a trek decorated with sporadic discomfort and delirious joy
You will find true expression and literal feeling
Within these tears you will see my heart beat flutter for survival, for life inside this skin struggles to live
You will find a stripped core, bare, naked and cold, soothed by the idea of a passing loneliness
Within these tears you will find the truth about me, the open book of my soul
This is absolutely, breath-takingly beautiful! You have a real gift for conveying your words with true feeling and palpable emotion. That said, this is really sad and my heart goes out to you during this time. In looking through your other blogs I realized that this must be about your husband who is out on active-duty somewhere. I don't know what to say to console you other than I am sure he gets great fulfillment in what he's doing through serving our country. I am beyond appreciative for him, and other members of our military, my brother included. I don't quite know the concoction of pain, fear and loneliness that you're experiencing... namely because my brother hasn't had any overseas and/or lengthy assignments, but I'm very glad that it appears you have a support group. Just wanted to pass along a quick note... thank you for yours the other day. On a lighter note, I could totally envision your poetry in some sort of spoken-word setting - it's AMAZING! Makes me miss the spoken-word places I would frequent in Charlotte, NC. There's nothing like it. Hope you're doing well, keep your head up and stay positive!
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