Decisions Decisions ... Let's shoot for the galaxies, you and I

Confession: I began my walk with Christ without knowing I was walking with him. I was praying and praying to him to heal my family when I was 12 years old, and He used the people in my past memories to structure my new ones. It’s funny how he allows us to be used in certain ways. I’m thankful that my 2nd grade teacher had invited us to her church when I was 6, because when I asked my father to take me to church, we took her invitation; even if it was 6 grades later.

The decisions we make in life are so important because they shape our future. We get lucky that our mistakes don’t always corrupt our existence, but that can only happen if we learn from them. Every single aspect of our life is a teachable moment, a learning moment, an experiencing moment. When I was in the 8th grade, I began watching Joyce Meyers every morning while getting ready for school. Her choice to speak the word of God and encouragement found my ears, all because of the decisions we make in our life. What if she had chosen a different path in life at a different time, allowing her past demons, transgressions, or pain to re-infect her continuously? And perhaps, I had decided to listen to MTV or VH1 while getting dressed instead of her ministry, where would I be? Maybe my walk would not be so defined with God, maybe I would still be a newborn in Christ, and maybe my outlook on spirituality and designing the perfect destiny for me would not be so clear. The decisions we make even while we are younger shape, form, and rejuvenate parts of our lives, knowingly and unknowingly. It may seem unfair because of our innocence, our pureness, and the fact that our steps are currently placed in the hands of adults that haven’t quite figured out their own walk.

I want to encourage you to pay attention in life. Each step you make differs from the last and will differ from the next one you make. Although, it may seem as you are walking around in circles, making the same decisions, it’s not true. We hold our destinies in our hands, and this world is more profound then we give it credit. There is so much more to our lives then we ever experience, and that is because we allow the creation and manifestations of others, become our own. My life is mine and mine alone, it belongs to no one else but me. How often do we stop and think that this is my life, mine! How incredible is that? How has the pessimistic nature seeped into our minds that at times, we wish for it to be over, have something new, or despise it? We have a responsibility to ourselves and whatever responsibility you feel that you have, it’s yours to figure out; but that’s just it, figure it out.

Ask yourself what is my purpose, and don’t be afraid of the answer. Remember, I am huge on not interrupting yourself, but instead giving you time to speak inwardly. It may cause for you to step out of an indolent lifestyle, it may make you challenge your weakness which initiates fears that we may not want to face, but know that you are stronger than you probably give yourself credit for. Know that those moments of doubt, frustration, and aggravation can be controlled by controlling your mind, your thoughts, and your actions. When you control your mind, you are in control of your destiny, because your thoughts become different, which allow for your actions to become different; your entire outlook on life becomes something of anew. Live above the definition you have defined for yourself, because you will be surprised when you finally figure out that the sky limit really isn’t that far. Let’s shoot for the galaxies, you and I.

All I want ... is the world

Confession: All I want is the world ... to see its true beauty in every capacity, to make my moments last through laughter, joyful tears, and experiences that outweigh each passing one ...

I don't know ... I've been sitting on this line ... all I want is the world for a few days. I wrote the poem at the bottom, but I may make a part two. It lingers in my mind, and the statement itself does not contain a selfishness quality; it goes deeper than that. I hope you enjoy.

I hardly ever write in rhythm style so, this is something a little different for me. I'm a free thought open style type of writer. :o) Just a warning.

All I want is the world, is that too much to ask?
Experience life to its fullest, and all that it has.

All I want is the world, to hold pieces of it in my hand
Learning to fall in love, in whatever capacity I can.

All I want is the world, to feel happiness and forget the pain.
Memorizing even the smallest detail, for there is so much more to gain

All I want is the world, with you inside my walls.
For me to understand the concept, of what it really means to fall.

All I want is the world, to look into your eyes.
To lose myself inside of you, every blink offering an elaborate
or perhaps subtle surprise.

All I want is the world, to breathe in the heavens
and taste the flavors of the moon.
Standing still to watch the good parts, because Lord knows,
its over too soon.

All I want is the world, to hold your hand along the way.
To watch our souls become the best of friends, and to know, together,
we'll face the day.

All I want is the world, to carry new secrets,
shared only between us two.
Promising the nevers, making good on the always
pinkie swears, special shakes, to seal them or perhaps, renew.

All I want is the world, but only with you … is that too much to ask?

I'm Slippin' - BUT the weight Isn't :*o(

I keep telling myself, one step at a time. I'm sorry, I have to apologize for my behavior lately. I have been completely slipping on informing you all of my progress. So, last week, I was able to work out four times. I know I said I was going to post daily on what it is that I am doing, but I did not have the time. I will do better this week, promise *:).

Last week wrap up quickly: Monday (is posted), tuesday-wednesday took those days off, thursday ran four miles and walked a mile, friday did a zumba class, saturday did a step aerobics class and then ran a mile and walked three and a half with a friend, and saturday walked two miles with the hubby and dogs. This concludes my wrap up of the week.

My weight hasn't moved at all last month, but that is okay. I am already at my target weight for my height and I will post a chart below or above, I'm 5-8. It can be a bit difficult, but it is only temporary and I know that. I can feel my body getting better and tighter, my skin has cleared up tremendously, and I am doing great. So, I am going to keep it up.

As far as the month of April, I am planning on doing a ten miler. The competition that I want to join is right around the corner, so hopefully 10 pounds drops off (but I am doing this the natural healthy way) so, I don't know if my body will react that fast. It may. Usually after a month and a half you will see drastic results, so I am really excited.

Today, I was going to go to a yoga class but I decided to update you all; so, I am going to miss it, and that is okay, because I will do one here. However, I am going to make it to step, and I am going to do a spinning class afterwards.

Tomorrow I am hitting the treadmill and I am going to do 7 miles. That is my goal. Wednesday, if my legs are feeling up to it, I will do a yoga and step, and then on Thursday I will crush the gym again with a 5 mile run, to complete my workout for the week with a Friday Zumba class. Saturday, I may do another step aerobics and yoga class because it was light this weekend, and walk with my husband on Sunday :o) That concludes my predictions for the week, and I plan on staying with it.

Where is everyone else at?

Who am I?

Confession: I've never felt hesitant to speak about defeat. It's in those defeating moments where I expose myself to vulnerability and exchange my weakness for strength.

I'm emotional, I'm a bit stubborn and sometimes too sentimental to let things go (and that applies to multiple arenas). Oh, and I can be an enemy, an enemy to myself.

I may be all of those things; nevertheless, I am also a successor. I am an over-comer and a determinate force that refines herself when faced with failure, because that is one thing I will NEVER become. The adage never say never has been optimistically promoted throughout time, becoming one of the most famous repetitive idioms of all time. One thing you should remember, as I often remind myself, there are always exceptions to the rules, and this happens to be one of them.

Who am I? I am a lot of things. Different aspects of me are lurking out of the shadows, revealing characteristics of myself on a daily occurrence; but what I have learned about who I am is, above all else, I am resilient.

I will always be the bit of bright green that springs from the crack of the earth, fighting to make room for who she is becoming.

What shapes us? Round One

Confession: I am a dreamer and a doer, no matter how long it takes, but I love the process of dreaming. I also like the process of discovery and rediscovery, but I want to know what defines us? What shapes us in the process of these intervals.

So, what exactly shapes us? What is it that motivates us and clicks on the “light” in our mind to do something different? What transforms us into a determinate being? Where is the point of change and can we pin point the moment?

I ask these questions because I want to know what shapes us. If our memories are not to be used to overcompensate for our lack of not trying or moving toward accomplishing our dreams then explain the process of becoming more than what we currently are, given that our memories are suppose to be used as a mechanism for reform. How come there are others that just get it and then there are the ones that have no clue; their point of reasoning has long been contaminated or perhaps just hit an underdevelopment standstill.

I live for the moments to find a different part of me, learn a new aspect of my life, and to fall in love, fall in love with absolutely everything. I’ve been accused of being a lot of things, and I have allowed those accusations to slide off my skin and gracefully fall to the floor as gracefully as they tried to break the fortress of my soul, of course in hopes of capturing my spirit; the thump is pretty loud. Nonetheless, there has been one accusation that I have openly embraced, which was being nonrealistic due to my optimistic persona. That sat well with me, and was nonchalantly close to accurate. Perhaps being the mindful, optimistic, overly excitable person that I am has allowed me to take this particular trajectory towards shaping me. Maybe there is a down fall to every aspect of life or choice that we make, but maybe the challenge resides in choosing the right choice, the best one that reflects a better you and me; regardless of the backlash.

You know I have come to really think and understand that, there are people who do not know love. I mean, there are so many shapes, forms, types, and variations of love. It is powerful, and its power is often underestimated. Love, is pure, kind, patient, accepting, sweet, tender, intense, seductive, imaginative, growing, explorative, exciting, and the list can continue to ramble on into infinite verbs and adjectives because it nicely suits each category. I challenge you to find love, a different kind that you have yet to recognize and comment about it when it happens.

I once stated that I felt that people have long ago stopped dreaming. I don’t know the exact result of that, but I think it’s the liaison for the lack of love, the lack of passion for life, and the constant advertising of stipulations and humanistic boundaries that is only created by man. About a week ago, I laid outside and memorized the sky for hours I’m sure. I realized that this life is bigger than our imaginations can comprehend. When I mean bigger, I do not just mean in the literal sense of size, but I speak of an expansion of depth in a non-lucid sense that is full of glory once deciphered. I want to know love just as much as I want to dream, and I want to know how that shapes me, all of us; I know it is at the core of our makeup.

This is just the beginning of this discussion … there will be plenty more, so let’s just say this is round one.

Working out, accountability, and polygamy?????

This week is going to be different. I know I normally post my workout plan and the ending result, but that was seemingly boring to me ... so I am going to change it up. I am going to post daily and it is going to have my workout regime for the day.

Confession: I don't feel like working out, I don't feel like writing, and I don't feel like doing much of anything except reading.

Now that I have identifed that, I can tell you better that it is when you feel like not doing something the most is when you should do it. I am going to go to step, which will be a lot of fun. After step class I am going to attempt to run 2 miles and if I can manage out a third I will, if anything I will walk it. My attempt today is to work out for an hour and a half, but I need to put more running into it. Running is the only way I am going to be able to acheive the look I want and the health that I want. When you are already at a target weight and you are roaming around within the numbers that are acceptable to your body weight and height, it can be harder to achieve. However, I am making a change in my life for the better, so that I can feel confident in every aspect.

So, anyway ... I amg oing to head out here and leave you with some inspiration, my hopes and dreams for today, and a questions that does not pertain to working out, just for a conversational discussion aspect.

Every time I get on this blog and I am either trying to write about my emotions, figure things out through some awakening concept I have stumbled upon, or I am trying to keep myself accountable for working out, I look forward to you. I look forward to the person that is going to give me advice back, someone that is going to tell me that they know how I feel, or that they just enjoyed reading another perspective. I love words, I love writing, I love emotions, and I love exploring it all together under one roof. Thank you for being my accountability partner, I'm not sure if you knew you were mine or not. My dream today is to accomplish something that I have never done which is workout through step class and run three miles afterwards. I'll let you know tomorrow how it goes.

As far as my question, it is the same question I posted on my facebook: what are your thoughts on polygamy?

I've been watching sister wives and of course I am a huge fan of Big Love (great show, hated the ending) but it is interesting, intriguing, and a foreign concept to me. I just want to know what you think.

Bradley Cooper dating Sandra Bullock???

So, I mistakenly read a gossip article about Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper breaking up, at least I think it was a mistake how I perceived it. I thought they were saying that Bradley Cooper and Sandra Bullock were now dating since his break up with Renee, but that was not the case, I think. You can see that this is totally all speculation and confusing to me, so I am can totally understand how it will be confusing to you. This is a perfect example as to how rumors get started.

So, even though I may be wrong on the interpretation part, I got to thinking that Bradley Cooper and Sandra Bullock would be a great match together. This blog isn't going to go into long list of details as to why I believe their characteristics are perfect for each other and all that jazz, I just think by looking at them, they would be perfect. I am pretty good at looking and guessing who would be right for each other, I do have a pretty good history list myself, and I am currently married (first marriage and will be my only, we got what it takes :o) Anway, back to the subject at hand. Sandra and Bradley should try that on for size. Now, I do wonder if they are in different places at the moment, her with an adopted baby and well him reaching the top of his career now and all, perhaps it won't happen because Renee and Sandra are friends, I don't know. Anyways, I think they should at least date once or twice, try it on for size.

Any thoughts?