Matters of the heart .....

I have not been in a place like this in a long time it seems. Wondering when my mind’s thoughts will subside so that I could accurately gauge the beats of my heart. The rhythm wavers with each passing touch, an intensity that is too far dissociated to define concretely. Where do we go from here when our hearts have long spoke the truth of this moment, foretelling the inevitable fortunes our future beholds? We make decisions in life and love that are not always ideal, often leading us to contemplate our other options, while reminiscence on the “what if” factor, as it dangles over our mistakes with a daunting laughter that shames the soul. That old adage that is written in our holy text, “patience is a virtue” speaks volumes, with very little of us having been able to master it, let alone utilize it on a consistent basis. I am just one, who longs to be loved righteously in an unjust world. I am just one, who anticipates the taste of freedom while her lover’s hand eclipses her own. I am just one, who is open to the possibility of happiness found in the cracks and missteps of our broken pathways. I am …. I am just one, who yearns and desperately craves to be understood within her emotions, outside expressions, and internal conflictions. I am in need of so much of what I give out that, it becomes overwhelmingly depressive when the daunting reality comes to full surface, staring you right in the face, with the answer you have refused for the longest time to accept, repeats itself for the millionth time that what you want … what you need … will always be at a finger tip distance, taunting your sanity with its truth and its greed.